Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Jimmy Dean...JAMES DEAN...

I go through periods when I eat the same food for every meal, every day, for a few weeks. We're presently in a "turkey chili period".

Mr Ally and I talked about the different ground meats that could be added to chili, for variety. I suggested ground pork. He said, "I fucked a Jimmy Dean sausage before".

Now why am I not surprised?

He said, he cut a "vagina size" slit at the top, scooped out a bit to accomodate the post-insertion displacement, and then fucked away.

I asked, did you just lay on your back and stick your dick in and start jacking?

He said no, he slid it in and held it still and started humping. For reality's sake.

So how many of you have similiarly greasy confessions?

5 comments:

Gator said...

Hi Ms Ally I have tried it with an eggplant. I hollowed out the middle for a tight fit and lubed it up and went to town, it was very nice, ty

The Masturbatrix said...

I had a call once with someone who enjoyed masturbation humiliation. I made him talk in a Napolon Dynamite voice, and profess his love for various fuckable food items: first I had him warm up a boneless chicken breast in the microwave, until it reached vagina temperature, and use it to "make loooove". Then I had him dress up a pumpkin like a woman he had the hots for, carve out a mouth, and hump it while proclaiming "Oh pumpkin, I love you! I want to marry you! Pumpkin!"

Okay, call me silly...

I asked Mr Ally if he'd done a pumpkin - he said, "Well that wouldn't feel good at all!"

But an eggplant...much more meaty and squishy...we'll have to try that..

Did you warm it up?

jay said...

i had a wanking session with a college friend some years ago and we both covered our cocks with pasta sauce.. it was cold, but it felt good!

James said...

I just found this blog. I hope it's still active.

I only thing I can think of close to this was an orange (a naval orange). I was a horny teen, I had the house to myself. I cored an orange and hopped into the shower.

Not a good idea. Orange juice tends to burn sensitive skin (especially if you're rubbing vigorously). I didn't get hurt, it just stung and took the lead out of my pencil, and I had a huge mess to clean up.

There's a reason most home made sex toys usually involve plastic bags. ;)

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