Sunday, February 11, 2007

"Do Not Use On or Around Mucous Membranes"

I think that's about as close as any shampoo, cream or other cosmetic product warning label will get to coming right out and saying: "Don't use this product as a jackoff lube!"

But how can they expect young, experimental masturbators to interpret that kind of talk-around-the-subject talk?

Mr Ally asked me the other day if I had posted about his "Herbal Essence Tragedy" on my blog yet. And indeed I haven't yet! The story sort of tells itself without telling, but here goes:

As a young masturbator, Mr Ally experimented with many food items, household objects, and slippery substances in his quest for the perfect jackoff assistant (which turns out 25 years later to be ME, but that's another story...) One day, he sees the Herbal Essence ("the green kind", he says), in the shower. Naked penis + privacy of the shower + slippery shampoo = perfect opportunity for masturbation!

Not so faaaaaast...

Long story short, this innocent attempt at a quickie orgasm turns into a weeks-long affliction with a red, scaly, flakey, peeling penis.

Not sexy.

"Did you tell your mom? Did you go to the doctor?"

"No way!" he says. "I didn't want them to know that I was masturbating!"

Poor little Mr Ally! So he dealt alone with the fear that he would wake up one of those frigtening days during the Herbal Essence affliction and his poor little penis would have sloughed off during his sleep.

Fortunately for both of us, that didn't happen.

But he asked that I give the warning to the young masturbators of the world, and so, I have.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Jimmy Dean...JAMES DEAN...

I go through periods when I eat the same food for every meal, every day, for a few weeks. We're presently in a "turkey chili period".

Mr Ally and I talked about the different ground meats that could be added to chili, for variety. I suggested ground pork. He said, "I fucked a Jimmy Dean sausage before".

Now why am I not surprised?

He said, he cut a "vagina size" slit at the top, scooped out a bit to accomodate the post-insertion displacement, and then fucked away.

I asked, did you just lay on your back and stick your dick in and start jacking?

He said no, he slid it in and held it still and started humping. For reality's sake.

So how many of you have similiarly greasy confessions?

Monday, February 5, 2007

Mutual Masturbatrix

Here's a Masturbation Interview with Sabrina, Webmistress of Sabrina in Stockings

Sabrina had some insightful and interesting (and sexy!) things to say about her experiences with male masturbation.

A New Masturbation Interview...

From "Interview with a *Cool* Masturbator" - a Masturbation Interview featuring Ms Veronica and "Cool":

Ms Veronica: How many times do you hold back and repeat, would you say? And how long does it take until you reach that point where you can't take anymore?

Cools: If I'm alone, I can have about 7 or 8 non-ejaculation orgasms before I finally must cum. It takes me about 45 minutes to an hour. But when I've had women watch me (I've had 3 women watch me do this before at the same time), it's much more kinky to me and the turn on is much greater. In that case, I lasted about an hour and a half.

Cools: I find when women tease and make fun of me when I masturbate in front of them it's very kinky.

Ms Veronica: What is it about women watching you masturbate, teasing you, that makes the whole experience more of a turn on for you?

Cools: I think it's about loosing control. It's just amazing. The best is when I ejaculate and can't help but thrust in mid air or let out a little whine or some un-masculine noise because my orgasm is so great. Loosing control in front of them, especially when they just laugh and giggle because they've seen me put so much effort into it.

Ms Veronica: In other words, you want your orgasm, your loose of control to be seen; witnessed....

Click here to read the rest of the interview - WARNING - Adult Content

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Masturbatrix Hannah

Email if you'd like to be interviewed for The Masturbation Interviews - you can also email Veronica, Ava, Elizabeth or me. Thanks!

"Us" vs "Them"

I received a call on the dispatch line, and while I was in the process of processing his billing information before I transferred him to Ms Lilah, it came up that he had been caught jerking off in a tanning salon, by the girl who runs the place. I didn't want to tie up the dispatch line while I got the details of this story, and since it was the end of my shift, I invited myself to participate in his call with Lilah so I could hear the rest of it.

Now, being that we are Cock Controllers and most of the people who call us are of like minds, I was very surprised, when I asked him if he found it arousing to get caught, he said "No! It was very embarrassing!"

I then asked if he'd thought about the incident again later, and even though it was embarrassing, did he jack off to the memory?

I am accustomed to chatting with men who would find this experience extremely erotic.

But this guy says "NOOOOO Not at all, I want to forget that ever happened, it didn't turn me on."

Which is so foreign an idea to me!

I guess we all spend so much time with people who think the way we do about such situations - in fantasy and in reality - that I forget there are guys out there for whom such a situation WOULD be completely not erotic, and totally embarrassing.


Interview with a Masturbatrix

Click Here to read Ms Ava's Interview with MWK, a teasing Masturbatrix

Ms MWK shares intimate details about her own masturbation habits.

Friday, February 2, 2007

Ms Ava Conducts an Interview with a Masturbator

Here's the second in what will definitely be a large number of Masturbation Interviews. This one was conducted by Ms Ava:

Click Here to Read the Masturbation Interview

If you would like to be interviewed, you can contact sexy_msava (at), or veronica_seduces_you *at* or mselizabeth #at#

Or you can contact me at the address on my profile :)

The Masturbatrix

CFNM Anyone?

Have you ever heard of CFNM?

At least once a week I am asked what that acronym stands for.

You're probably into it, at least a little bit, and you don't even know it.

So think about this - when you fantasize about being watched while you masturbate, do you picture the woman (or women) in your fantasy naked along with you? Or do you picture them clothed?

Please post in the comments. I want to know if this more typically a D/s - femdom type fantasy, or if there are masturbators who consider themselves pretty vanilla except for the fact that they like to be watched while they masturbate in front of a clothed woman, or a group of clothed women.

From the results of my poll on my website, it seems that most guys "over there" are into it.

But you know what pervs those guys are hahaha

Leave me a comment and let me know your take on CFNM.

Madame Masturbatrix

Thursday, February 1, 2007

A Non-US Wanker Writes on Masturbation and Shame

If you're familiar with my "other" sites, you may have picked up on the fact that there are elements of erotic humiliation throughout. The Mindful Wanker writes the following on his blog today, addressing the subject of shame and masturbation. I *highly* recommend reading the entire article, especially if you're a masturbator who finds humiliation arousing, and you're puzzled as to why:

Dirty nasty sex can be fun. For example, I'm obviously fascinated by masturbation, my own and other peoples', and there's no doubt that a part of what makes wankery--especially talking about it, watching or being watched--so exciting is that doing so can feel naughty and subversive.

But Water's remarks imply that sex without shame would necessarily be less fun--would lack the edge that shame gives it--and I'm not sure that's true. Shame, power, control, humiliation, are all ingredients that can make for a very sexy recipe. But let me suggest that these should be voluntarily added, a choice, like wearing a fur teddy or not, like deciding to play "prison shower," or not. There are other possibilities....

What a Shame - Read the rest of the post here

I'd like to see some comments about this article. I've often wondered myself, why so many (INCLUDING myself) find humiliation to be quite erotic.

Maybe it's just because we're American, if this writer's thoughts are accurate!

But the subject asks for deeper observation. Let's discuss.


NEW Masturbation Interviews

Watch for two new Masturbation Interviews to be posted within the next day or two, one featuring MWK, an experienced Masturbatrix and Cocktease, and one with an experienced and talented masturbator...The Interview Madame told me that she *thought* he might be masturbating DURING the interview...I advised, as long as it didn't interfere with his typing, then a bit of interview-masturbation should be allowed.

Watch for those to be posted by this weekend on The Masturbation Interviews